I have fond memories of that year. I long for it today. I also have a fantasy of becoming a Tibetan Buddhist Nun. That probably won’t happen.
So, as The Nun Who Lives in a Subaru, yesterday I was driving across Montana realizing that part of my dream job has been to get paid to drive across Montana. I’m happy to say I don’t sleep in my car. I do, however, have the privilege of being in some of the most spectacular country in the world. When on the road, I reflect, see, explore, and wonder about life, purpose, meaning, and what some of my friends call “Rebecca’s big questions.”
I used to laugh about my need to find meaning even where there isn’t any, calling myself a “meta-philiac.” I doubt that is a real word, but maybe it should be. I can see a crack in a sidewalk and decide it means I’m on yet another threshold. Maybe life is just one threshold after another, one leap of faith after another. The most significant life choices I’ve made didn’t make any sense at the time. There was no “conventional wisdom” to be found. Somehow I just knew I was going to jump and hope like hell there would be lift. Those life altering choices often feel like I have jumped, haven’t fallen, just hanging in mid air looking around, enjoying the view, and wondering what the __________ now?
I am being tested to decide whether to take action without the kind of clarity (code for plan) I prefer. I don’t typically need the entire plan, just some sort of map in my mind. I’m not sure why I am clinging to that. It does feel familiar. Often, when I am really clinging, it means I’m about to let go.
What are you noticing? Pass this along, share it with others, and share your thoughts with me/us.